Late Sh. Bachukaka (Bhadrasenkaka), Ashwinikumar, Surat
Late Sh. Harnathkaka, Surat
However, I shall confine to the family of Ramanbhai only.
Marriage: Kamlesh & Dipti- Navsari
My second job was in PS, manufacturer of textile machinery. The industry was in Navsari itself. Though the salary was not great, this job was relatively stable and hence I got engaged with Dipti in 1982. Dipti was also working as Apprentice in Gujarat Electricity Board, Gandhinagar.
I had been applying for better job to many companies in India. There was no internet during that period. We have to see the advertisement in the Newspaper and then to apply. The application was to be sent by Post only. I must have sent atleast 150 applications. But, since Navsari was very small town and far from bigger/industrial cities, I used to get very less number of interview calls.
During this period, I had applied for the post of "Officer Trainee" in Indian Oil Corporation Limited. After sending the application, by Regd A.D., I realized that I forgot to affix my Photograph in the application. This was one of the requirements. I again sent photograph along with a letter requesting to affix photograph. Luckily, I got the interview call for which I was required to appear for written test. AFter clearing the written test, I was called for personal interview which went well. It was during Dec 1982. But, no appointment letter was received for a very long time.
However, since job in the industry was stable, it was decided by parents to get us married. Since, most of the relatives of both the sides were common and residing in Mumbai and South Gujarat viz Surat, Navsari, Bilimora, , it was decided to arrange marriage in Navsari itself. This was economical to both the parties. Accordingly, our marriage was held on 26.05.1983 at "Naranlala Hall", Navsari. My father arranged a show of a drama "Kanku ane Kajal" in order to meet partial expenses of our marriage.
In the meanwhile, Dipti got permanent job in GEB, Gandhinagar. Her salary was more than mine. After marriage, she contiuned her job at Gandhianagr and I continued at Navsari. I used to make all efforts for a better job. In such an attempt, I appeared for interview in Gujarat Public Service Commission at Ahmedabad for the post of Assistant Engineer in PWD. After giving the interview, when I reached home at Navsari at @ 12.00 midnight, I saw appointment letter from Indian Oil Corporation Ltd. Thus, I joined IOC on 18.08.1983.
The training period in IOC was for one year. During this period, I had been to Miraj, Goa and Nagpur for training in different disciplines. Ultimately, I was posted at Aviation Fuel Station, Ahmedabad for on the job training. In the meanwhile, Dipti's mother got a tenament constructed in Sector 27, Gandhinagar. Therefore, myself and Dipti have started staying there. The distance between Gandhinagar and Ahmedbad is 30 KMs. In the meanwhile, Dipti had booked Moped (Luna) at Surat few years ago. This moped had become due for delivery. We had purchased it from Surat and brought it to Ahmedabad/Gandhinagar in the train. Since during training period I was required to report for job in General Shift, I used to travel by bus from Gandhinagar to Ahmedabad and return. This arrangement continued for few months. However, after confirmation as an Officer i.e. after completion of training period, I was required to report in shifts. Therefore, we had taken house on rent and shifted to Ahmedabad during August 1984.
It was convenient for me to go in shifts on moped and for Dipti to go to Gandhinagar and return by bus since her job was in general shift only. After confirmation, I became eligible to take loan for two wheeler from the Company @ 2.5 % per year. Accordingly, we had purchased "Rajdoot" motorcycle with the loan from Company. In the meanwhile, Dipti conceived and it was decided to make delivery at Navsari since my father was already working in renowned maternity hospital at Navsari. Thus, Pratik was born on 19.08.1985 in Ramaben Hospital at Navsari. Incidentally, 19th August was also birthday of my father.
Dipti's mother got an allotment of a small flat in Gujarat Housing Board at Ahmedabad. Therefore, it was decided to stay there and entire family was shifted to Ahmedabad from Navsari. Dipti continued her job at Gandhinagar by commuting in bus. Pratik was also growing and he was admitted to nursery. In the meanwhile, I got transferred to Mumbai in 1989. My mother came to Mumbai to reside with me. I used to visit Ahmedabad every 15 days from Mumbai. Sinec I was posted to Mumbai on promotion, I became eligible for loan for 4 wheeler. Since monthly car allowance was quite attractive, during 1989, we had first time purchased second hand "Fiat" car from Ahmedabad and took it to Mumbai. Normally, I used to commute in local bus/train and sometimes the car was used especially on saturday.
During 1990, Dipti got transferred from Gandhinagar to Ahmedabad. In the meanwhile, Samay was born on 20.01.1991 at Ahmedabad. I also got transferred back to Ahmedabad in Area office in Spetember 1992. We have shifted to IOC colony in 1993 in a bigger flat.
Childhood of Pratik and Samay
In addition to love and play with parents+Great Grandmother, Grandmother & Grandfather, both children used to play locally with street friends. Further, Sapan is of the same age of Pratik, at times we used to go to Gandhinagar to visit garden of 28 sector.
Further, when I was in Area Office, we used to go for picnic with family of employees every year. We had visited many places in Gujarat like Mehsana water park, Sanand water park, Pavagadh, Kewadia colony, Baroda, Dharoi dam etc. Also visited Mount Abu on our own. We also had visited Surat many times
Thread ceremony of Pratik was held at Surat alongwith two sons of Gurubhai, two sons of Harenbhai and Keyur in the year 1992.
Thread ceremony of Samay was held at Surat with Yash in the year 1998/99.
We also got an opportunity to avail LTC and we went to North India in an arranged tour in a bus. We had visited Jaipur, Agra, Mathura, Fatehpur Sikri, Massoorie, Haridwar, Rishikesh, etc.
House Opening Ceremony - Ahmedabad
There was a provision to avail Housing loan from my Company i.e. Indian Oil Corporation Ltd with an interest rate of 5.5% and to deduct monthly instalment from my salary. Therefore, a flat was booked in Indraprastha in the year 1995. The maximum amount of the loan was availaed from the Company and balance amount was withdrawn from my Provident fund. The flat got constructed and possession was taken. The house opening ceremony was held in February 1996 and then we shifted to this house where we are residing now.
Education of Pratik and Samay
In the meanwhile, schools of Pratik and Samay were again changed to nearby schools and their study continued uninterrupted. Also, job of Dipti also continued. During May 2000, I got transferred to Hazira, Surat. The next year, Pratik came in 12th Science.
Inspite of trying the best, the result of Pratik for 12th science was not upto the level to get admission in Engineering college in Gujarat. Further, there were very limited seats in Engineering in Gujarat as compared to other states. As such, there was a trend that many students used to go to other states for professional degree. It was, therefore, Pratik's admission was taken in "Information Science" in "Don Bosco" college, Bangalore. Both of us (myself and Dipti) were not willing to send him to Bangalore. But, a decision was taken for his future.
Thus, study of Pratik at Bangalore and of Samay at Ahmedabad continued. After completion of Engineering degree, Pratik got a job in Bangalore itself and he continued his job in different companies at Bangalore.
During this period, I was transfered to Sawai Madhopur in Rajasthan in 2004 and again to Sanand, Ahmedabad in 2006. Samay continued to study at Ahmedabad. He passed 12th Science in the year 2009. He was admited in Degree "Computer Engineering" in a college in Ahmedabad itself.
Samay passed B.E. (Computer Engineering) in the year 2013. Since, I got transfered to Delhi, Samay started working in Delhi / Gurgaon in his IT related field.
Marriage: Pratik & Suma- Bellary
During the job at Bangalore, Pratik and Suma developed affection for each other. With the consent of parents of both, it was decided to convert their affection into relationship. Accordingly, in the year 2011, their engagemnet was done at Ahmedabad. Their marriage was held on 29.01.2012 at Bellary and Reception was held at Ahmedabad on 05.02.2012
Marriage Reception: Pratik & Suma- Ahmedabad
Birth of Niyu
In the mneawhile, Niyu was born on 22.06.2013 at Bellary. We were at Delhi. However, we could go to Bellary to see her. During this period, we also visited Humpi which is nearby to Bellary. Thereafter, we used to go to Bangalore every year at the time of birthday of Niyu. Pratik,Suma Niyu used to come to Delhi at their convinient time. During one of such visits, we could go to Mathura, Vrundavan, Agra in our own car.
Health Of Dipti :
From 2005, health of Dipti started deteriorating. Joint pain, swelling, stiffness. It was shown to the best Rheumatologist in Ahmedabad. However, no proper diagnosis could be made inspite of various tests. However, treatment of General Physician continued.
The health was progressively deteriorating and as a result it was decided to resign from the job in the year 2009.
The year 2010-11 was extremely crucial for health of Dipti. It can be said that she remained in hospital more than at home. She was examined by a famous Doctor at Mumbai also but there was no difference in her health which continued fluctuating. Main diseases were liver problem and Autoimmune disease
In August 2011, she desired to sit in Pooja (Havan) of our caste which is performed at Surat. Therefore, we wemt to Surat and she successfully participated in Havan with me.
In the meanwhile, Pratik's marriage was held at Bellary and reception at Ahmedabad. Both the auscipious occasions went of well without any major health issue. The treatment was being continued.
In addition to Allopathic, we had started Ayurvedic treatment also. After about one year it appeared that there was some improvement. In the meanwhile, I got transferred to Delhi in the year 2013. We could visit Bellary in June 2013 after birth of Niyu and also went to Humpi.
However, the appeared improvement in her health was short lived and again started deteriorating with relapsing of worse episodes of autoimmune disease. The dose of steroid which she used to take in Ahmedabad was required to be increased. Also immunity suppressant medicines were started.
Her health continued fluctuating over years. However, we were able to go to Bangalore every year at the time of Niyu's birthday. We also went to Mathura, Vrundavan, Agra during visit of Pratik, Suma an Niyu to Delhi. In addition, we used to go to watch movies, darshan to the temples, Malls etc in Delhi and also gone to Ahmedbad twice.
Since there was no improvement, the Ayurvedic medicines were changed drastically. All possible efforts have been done but there was no improvement since the disease was incurable. Ultimately, on 23.10.2017, she succumbed to the disease.
In my view, it was good for Dipti that she decided to leave this body. Because, we can only take good care and can provide best available treatment, but it was she, who used to suffer. Sometimes, it was very difficult for me to see her suffering.
The Medical treatment is very costly. The treatment which could be provided to Dipti was only because of the facility given by my Company. It would have not been possible from my salary to provide the type of treatment which was given to Dipti. I express thanks and deep sense of gratitude towards my Company i.e. Indian Oil Corporation Limited.
Permanent Loss :
Mother in 1991
Grandmother in 1993
Father in 1997
Wife in 2017
Visit to Nainital, Manali, Chardham, Shrinagar, Amarnath, Leh-Ladakh, Kurukshetra
There was on year left for my retirement after death of Dipti. My posting was in Delhi and subsequently I was to settle at Ahmedabad. Thinking that it would be very difficult to come to North India again after retirement and also to come out of grief of Dipti's death, I decided to visit few places in North India.
Accordingly, visited Nainital, Manali and Kurukshetra with Samay.
Visited Chardham - Gangotri, Jamnotri, Kedarnath and Badrinath with Kalpana, Janak and Geeta.
Visited Srinagar, Pahalgam, Gulmarg, Amarnath, kargil with Pratik, Suma, Niyu, Kalpana, Janak and Geeta.
Visited Leh-Ladakh, Nubra valley, Pangong Lake with Pratik, Suma, Niyu, Kalpana, Janak, Geeta and also Samay who joined the trip at Leh.
Engagement of Samay with Malavi- Ahmedabad
Over the years 2013 to 2017, Samay worked in many companies in Delhi and Gurgaon and gradually stabilized in earning
It was the time to look for a suitable life partner for him. With his consent, I started looking for a suitable girl through relatives/friends and also through Matrimonial websites like "Shaadi.com" and "Jeevansathi.com".
Whether I believe in "horoscope matching" or not is a separate issue. But, I do not have courage to bypass "horoscope matching procedure" for arranging life partner for my son. (arranged marriage)
As agreed upon with Samay, we were looking for a Gujarati girl. It is the fact that there are very less number of educated girls in our caste. We had no objection for intercaste also. However, since we were at Delhi, all the parents (irrespectiev of caste) were not prepared to send their daughter to Delhi /Gurgaon. Even paid service for counseller in "Shaadi.com" did not yield any result. Main problems were caste and another was location. Another problem was that parents of thr girl do not respond. The reason is not known to me even now.
After my retirement, he started staying at Gurgaon since his job was in Gurgaon. Since my efforts were not yielding any result, I was compelled to tell Samay to look for any job in Pune / Bangalore since these locations are normally acceptable to Gujarati people.
Luckily, Samay could manage a job in Ahmedabad itself and he joined a company in the month of April 2019. I increased search by approaching many local marriage bureaus. However, again realised that caste issue even overrules merit of the person. People are extremely reluctant for intercaste marriage.
Our Gor Maharaj earlier had given few names of girls of our caste but could not result into relationship. He once again gave name of Malavi and her father. After matching of the horoscope, meetings of boy and girl were arranged. Both have agrred to become life partners. Accordingly, engagemnet was held on 19.01.2020 at Ahmedabad.
I have thought of their marriage in the month of January/February 2021. However, final date can be fixed only when some clarity comes on "Coronavirus" because as per rules only 50 persns can assemble and marriage is not possible with presence of only 50 persons. However, Registered Marriage is also an Option. A suitable decision shall be required to be taken in future at an appropriate time.
